Year Ender

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I am exactly the same, the bygone year I was, the one before, and the one I last remember contemplating. Contemplating as to what would have gone right, what should I have done to make things right, with lots of what if’s and what not’s.Here I am again, just lettering my anguish in my blog this time…

Knowledge is brutal in a way, as it never aids me when I need it the most. But will always beckon me when I am down and out letting me know that vigorous years which I see off will be only good for nothing. Except that when the time comes, you got to pass it down, the knowledge and the experiences that is.

"The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once"
- Albert Einstein

He said it right, but I doubt he said it at the right age. I don’t know about others but for me the right age is the youth. The years when you are full of life, zeal and gist to do something… to become someone…. to take risks and to digest the failures…. to relish the moments of regret…. to relive those shattered dreams…..

Age and wisdom are well separated by time. I always feel that I should discreetly do the right thing at the right time, speak right, act right and pick the right people and what not. But in the world I live, in the life I lead, I know that opportunities that come by and the actions I take to utilize them … both of them pass each other briefly… glancing at each other…

I feel if only I knew it earlier as to what will happen, I wouldn’t end up leading an unfulfilled life. I don’t want my hair to grow grey, and by that time I would have learned enough to realize only that my prima face is over…

Like they say in movies… I want it all… I want it now and not tomorrow….

Oddly, with all that has changed in the year gone by, with all that hasn’t changed, with all that will never change, I feel it was a fair one…

On the eve of a new year I find myself in the exact same place I was last year. About to go to the happening New Year bash in town. May be I’ll have the same Scotch whisky I had last year, but the fervor is quite unlike from what I had for 2008.

This year I got married to this girl I knew, with whom I happened to be in love for the past 7 years in my life, whom I like a lot even today [strange but true] , whom I will be celebrating a full blown new year with.. .and may be many more years to come…

Even otherwise I quite like 31 December night because,

This night like all the other nights, will be past
But this night, unlike all the other nights will also be the year’s last

Happy New Year!!!


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Doll

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Out of all over to here, you came baby dear…
Eyes so blue, as though the sky came through…
Smile so bliss, like an angel’s kiss…
Lil fingers and feet those lovely things, like cupid’s wings…
Grow up safe and nice, my niece… Into a fine lady, stunning and charming…
May that little shine in your eyes sparkle for as long…

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S

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S, this one’s for you……..

You have been there, done that. Time and again you have done that. With amazing regularity you have done that. You did it yesterday too. You look completely at ease when you do that. I keep losing myself and you keep bringing me back. You know how much I love you and how much I mean it when I say it.

I heard somewhere that attitude is a little thing, but makes a big difference. We both are as different as stalk and cheese in our own ways. But it’s the way you pull me back, that matters. You may sound different, act preachy, act bossy, do your lovey-dovey thing, be cute, be naughty, be rude… but you exactly know what to do when and that is all matters.

But one thing is sure, it’s not always that I look at you, look up to you. It’s always that you are there certainly for me, when I need you. This, even before I realize I need you then at the very first place.

Cheers for your never say die attitude. Girl, I tell you. You rock…. Big time at that!!!

Bravo!!! Voila!!! Luv u………………….

PS: That mca thingie was a killer :)

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Story

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'The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America -- I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you -- we as a people will get there'

- Barack Hussein Obama II [ After becoming the president elect, US of A. ]

I am no guy to comment on this, and I ain't doing any.

But his is a story. Never a story was as amazing as this ... Nor as better as this.

I have more faith now.....

D

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Pimping

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I hate doing the subject line. But i am too tempted to resist.

Lemme do a Miss Reddy Madhavan here. Are you wondering who is she ?

And all you crazy freaks of wallpapers, go here.

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A boy, A girl and A song

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A random rambling….

I knew this boy who loved a girl passionately. Like in a fairy tale, he proposed her. They dated and got married happily. They were so much in love, in awe of each other. They danced their way happily into a couple of blissful years of married life. While getting dressed, too often they would end up dancing in front of mirror for any and every song. No, neither of them was good at that but they did.

Then the boy one day chanced upon hearing a song. It was a soulful melody. A haunting one at that. He told her about that song. She heard it a couple of times and fell for that. That’s when it all began. They both heard that song every night before sleeping. Couple of weeks later, they found themselves listening to the same song, day in day out. He did it at work, she did at work, and they both did the same at home. They became so dependent on the song that they used to hear it every night on a repeat mode until they dozed off.

A couple of months later, the boy got fed up with the song and he stopped listening it. Slowly she too did the same. They were still happy, very much in love. The boy wondered what ever happened to that song.

It’s been really long since I heard from him. But the last time I spoke to him, he said the above story and was wondering about how he remembers just those days of 7 long years companionship with her.

I said it was a memory that he will cherish for a long time. When everything else around him changes, these handful of memories are what that stay with him.

Listening to this he said he was waiting, for the next song that is.

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Stock Markets

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Once upon a time, in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20 for a monkey. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.

The offer increased to $25 each, and the supply of monkeys became so small that it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it! The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. 'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35, and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each'. The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys.

They never saw the man nor his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere! The man from the city had made a monkey of all the poor villagers. Hope you now have a better understanding of how the stock market works!!!

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Wall - E

"According to the laws of aerodynamics, the bumble bee cannot fly. I guess no one bothered to tell the bee".

I saw Wall-E accidentally. Was free on the Friday it released, picked up S from her office and went to a 7.30 pm show.

I immensely liked it. S too liked the movie a lot. The subtle emotions, the characters, the plot, all were perfect. S liked it so much that we went to see the movie, again just a week later. Anybody who's in love or who's sensible will like this movie I think.

Strongly recommended!!!

Wall - E stands for Waste Allocation Load Lifter - Earth Division.

And the one it falls for reminds me of an Ipod cousin

"We see things not as they are, but as we are".

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Rain

[10 years ago…]


It was raining. I was waiting for my daily shuttle. I was on my way home. In India, rain plays an integral part of many a story. It did the same that day, to mine.

Even as the raindrop splattered all over, I saw her.


Like it happens in every movie we see, every book we read, every story we hear, it was happening. She was beautiful, so much at that, that I could see, dream of me being with her, for her, loving her, forever and ever. She was there for a good couple of minutes. Whilst I was still dreaming, I could see her getting into a cab and vanished.

Oh, by the way apart from the fact she was blissfully beautiful, what she was wearing was no less. I can still close my eyes and can see her in that long gown, a black one, typically angel wear. She was carrying a book, trying hard to keep it dry by draping it with her shawl.

There’s something with this kind of girls, whom you fall for at the very first sight. They appear again soon enough to tinge your senses. It was the same in my case. I spotted her a couple of weeks later at the very same place I first saw her and was unable to come out of her thoughts all those days. This time I could see her for long, may be a couple of minutes more than the first time.

This went on, for a couple of months, 9 weeks to be precise totaling to 5 times I saw her. She was irregular in a way she responded each time after the first time. A couple of times, she winked, once she smiled, and the other times didn’t bother at all to exchange looks, forget about pleasantries.



[Today]



I saw her again today 10 years later, 6000 miles away from the place it happened. It was a jolt for me, in all these years I could never forget her face. I wasn’t expecting even a glance from her. Come to think of it, I felt she would have never even remembered me, forget about forgetting.

Luck like it is, I was again waiting for a cab this time, to catch hold of my old buddy.

Me being me, I glanced at her and then suddenly turned away when I noticed she was reciprocating this time too.

She was beautiful as usual, like age-proof, not a bit of glow and bliss gone with time. She came to me in a couple of quick steps and said:

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“Hi” “Do you remember me?” said she.

“Hi” said I “I am ‘D’”.

“I used to read Erich Segal a lot those days” said she.

“I didn’t get you” said I.

“I thought I would help you out at least today”, “Those days, you used to stare at the book I carried quite a bit”

“Oh!! The book”,” Yeah!!! The book” I mumbled.



Silence [An awkward one, for 60 seconds]



“Nice to see you again” said I.

“I was seeing someone” said she.


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Her mobile started buzzing and she left.



It started raining.

Ipod playing :

"You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today And then one day you find ten years have got behind you No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun"

- Time, Pink Floyd

Story

Longtime ago, I was on a beach. It was a Polynesian beach, filled with a lot of filthy rich people. They came by in groups of two’s, three’s and four’s and more. I was young, single and successful enough to be on a backpacking tour to Europe. As I was chilling, I saw they had all the time to talk about their own and other’s business, sometimes brawling loudly but many a time lowering their voices to pass on a delicate piece of news.

I was thinking of the long evening ahead, to be spent all alone by myself. I thought of taking a slow , dreary walk through unknown streets and of the deadly gloom with which I was already filled, being a lonely traveler and of the repressive memoirs I have already pocketed out of my [dream-come-true kind of] backpacking trip. This was despite getting many a warning from friends, family and foe.

As my loneliness increased with the falling shadows, all John’s and Laura’s started kissing under palm trees soaked in sun kissed tanned bodies. Giggling girls undid their bath robes daintily and ran into the water, enjoying the rippling waves.

Then, at that very moment I saw her. She was beautiful. I mean there are faces whose charm appeals to anyone and everyone and delight you instantly. It was one such face. I felt she was the one for whom I was born and was born to love her and make love to her.

So I loved her.

I was introduced to her that very day, by a common friend. Her looks, her smile, her hair flickering in the air, her gestures, and her manners all were enticing me. I asked her out for a date.

She said “yes”.

Unbelievable was the day and my luck on that day.

She changed into an evening gown and came out with me. She was elegance personified, exuding freshness, and pretty all by herself. That night we made love. After that night, I started appreciating the seductive beauty in the curve of a woman’s cheek, the movement of a lip, the pinkness of an ear, and more and merely everything I know of women.

She was mine and I was mad. For the next 4 days, I was with her.

It had to end.

My backpacking trip ended abruptly with her vanishing act without a caution or a word and I returned to my life.
‘
‘
‘
[20 years later]. Day: Today
‘
‘
‘
I was in downtown this evening trying to catch hold of a cabbie. It was raining cats and dogs.

I can never forget her fragrance and I whiffed the same fragrance right next to me. I turned and could find a fat, old, lady with lots of shopping bags and a couple of brats around her calling her “mommy”. I saw her and found it difficult to digest that she was the girl whom I mated 20 years back, and the girl I still dream of every night.

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“Hi” said I.

“Do you remember me?” “I am ‘I’. We met on March 4th, “XXXX “. I hope we had a great time. At least I thought I had.”

“Oh, hi” said she.

“What explains you vanishing unnoticed that day?” said I.

“My husband yelled at me to go back to him to the isle” said she.

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I was stunned. No more words came out from my side. I couldn’t mince anymore. I was dumbstruck.

Even as I recall, she said many things after that. She was still screaming as I got into a call taxi. But I couldn’t hear anymore. I just couldn’t. I got down a couple of streets away from where I live. I walked that silent walk that I thought of taking that day. I saw quite a lot of couples in their teens hovering all over the place near the by lane park. They were walking slowly, arm in arm, clad in long, winter wear.

I went home and stood under the shower and saw myself in mirror. It was ages since I saw myself in mirror.
For the first time in my life, I understood women are poor beings. Their joy, their power, their life all lie in their beauty which lasts 10 years. . It’s their beauty that is deceptive. It deceives men and them alike. After those 10 years, they are those big, fat, common women.

All through the night, all alone I stood in front of the mirror for a long time, a very long time. I saw what I was that day. I saw my sneakers, my black hair and the youthful expression of my face.

Now I was old.

D

The Joker

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I saw "The Dark Knight" last weekend.. By far, one of the best ever performance by

Heath ledger as "The Joker"... Sad, he isnt anymore to enjoy all the applause/attention

he has earned worldwide....

Hatsoff, Heath!

God bless his soul...

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Romance

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One misty evening, the clouds looked like fog for me, I turned on a torch up there.
I saw into the eyes of my future, blurred.
It was something which was not there, but I left it alone.
Then I saw a star up there in the sky, I yearned for it.
It had not only beauty but truth.
Then I saw the romance that the moon brought.
The very same romance I used towards you, you being the star.
The very same romance, remains in both of our minds for years to come.



“By believing passionately in something that doesn’t exist, we create it….
The non-existent is whatever we have sufficiently not desired”
-Anonymous

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Go Green

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Nice Read :

http://www.morganstanley.com/about/community/littlegreenebook/

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Train

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The other day I was travelling in a train, and as I started on my way I did call up my mom to cook up something for my dinner as the train shall pass through my native.
I did meet her, she did give me a box. For once, I thanked trains in my life for what was one of my best dinners in my life. When i opened my box, apart from food I found 2 things:

My mom packed all of her love in it.
I revisited the first 16 years of my life just, just with the first bite.

Mom, love is too simple a word to express my feeling.

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Mumbai Cutting

www.mumbaicutting.com

One word says it all... Wow!!!

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Quote

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Mr Emerson, I still remember that poem..
A snubbed squirrel says to a mountain:
"If I cannot carry forests on my back, Neither can you crack a nut."

His best quote: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know"

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Keep off the grass

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I recently finished reading “Keep off the grass” by Karan Bajaj. Another double “I” product trying to show the world that he can write. Haven’t we read enough of life in double “I” m’s and t’s and their self bashing, arrogant ways with which they pass out and feel like they have conquered the world?

The book as such isn’t bad except for the fact that it cries for attention from some bollywood big guns to buy it quickly and make it into one of that meaningless crappy blockbuster material. When they say that 95% of first time authors end up glorifying their life in their first literary work, they are true.

So self centric, so self indulgent, so much “stoned” stuff, some yoga/meditation crap… throw in some double “I” experience and voila!! We have a perfect recipe for a high profile, highly marketed [self??!!] next gen author….

I quite didn’t like the book as a whole. But I liked the way it’s written. Method writing at its best. Understandable, what with he being an MBA from double “I” m. The book has its moments but very few at that. At some point, it sounded like too much managerial gyan being given away by the author. And that too in the context of a fiction novel?

I seriously think everyone loves letter “I” for it’s the very reason why everyone does everything or anything on planet earth. But guys from double “I” m’s and t’s do it twice I believe, for that represents double “I” from which they come out.

Give me glitzy antics of ‘De madame anyday!!!

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Self Indulgence

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Thanks, Amy Tan

For the very same reason, I read, I write. I write for myself, like everybody does. I write to rejuvenate my thinking prowess, my mind, through my lexis skills. I write to feel my heart, to make my eyelids flicker, while my words try and induce unknown emotions, imagery. I write to feel how it feels, to be writing, to be what I am, for what it means to be alive.

- "When the student is ready, the master appears".

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This is a poem to be, but without words meant to be,
I am no writer, to think this was a bloggers block to be,
Nothing was blamed to be, for I didn’t know what it would be,
I wasn’t thinking, for I was blinking, as nothing was linking,
My heart sunk, for I flunk for my words, wondering, wandering….
This was a poem to be, but for a tiny few words to be…..

PS : Another day, I don’t want to regret, that too often when I had a thought,I did not write it down

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Fairy tale

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For there be a life, akin a fairy tale,
To the nameless isle it lets me sail,
The time flips, whilst the raindrops drip,
The words rinse, for a to be told tale hence,
I puff away fresh fag, devoid any jetlag,
I smell berries, also farm-fresh cherries,
The land is weedy, no one greedy, neither needy,
Gulping wine, slurping, burping, singing fine,
It wasn’t night, time wasn’t right,
But I don’t care, for it was a dreamy fare,
No no no… it wasn’t the shire...
For there be a life, akin a fairy tale
Like I pen down in an email….
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Drizzle

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Drizzle reminds me of the monsoons to come, Clouds promise me of the frosty days,
Wind escorts the dry leaves on the side roads, Walls wait for the shadows,
Dripping sparrows chattered away in joy, Tinted trees said they love it,
Rusty roofs said they aren’t, so did my Nike shoes,
Asking me how far is too far, said I, “I know my destination”
For the journey is just the time spent in between….
For the blog asked me a clumsy poem, I did it thus far….

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Monday

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The other day, I bought a pair of balloons from a girl at the traffic signal.
I realized that balloons were such fun whilst I was child, to play with. Now too, they weren’t bad as they made me recall my childish days….But the same balloons didn’t mean so much fun for the girl, who was selling them as she too was a child…
I couldn’t help but to think of it for a minute and then I forgot.
On a lighter note, a couple of things I observed over the last weekend…
RGV almost got it right, this time in Sarkar Raj, whilst at the other part of world Roger Federer never gets it right at the French Open….
Then I got two things:

- Greats fail because they do, they try…

- Every post isnt a great post.. The fun part is in writing.. not in making it the best..

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Grandpa

Grandpa,
It’s with deep self-indulgence I think of you today... I don’t want to give any fancy reasoning for not being able to recall you for such a longtime since you left for heaven…
I remember growing up listening to your 1950’s stories when you said that you were able to fill in a bullock cart with vegetables, edibles, fruits et all for a mere 100 rupees…I was fascinated...Later when I really grew up, you were still around but no more I was enthused at listening to you, as you were by that time an element of gag subject with the cousins… I was growing up you see...
It’s been really long since I thought of you, what with me being busy with my studies, settling down and stuff like that. I never could really realize that you weren’t like walls, books, furniture or any other “thing” with which I grew up... But you were in fact the very reason why I am here, seeing this oh so busy world, talking, meeting, living with people like me…
Pa, pardon me for not giving you enough time in my life, as I realize I was busy wasting my time…
Come back to me, my dreams at the least…
Luv,
D

Without Yo"u"

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Trying times don’t impair me anymore, monsoon showers don’t excite…
Appalling dreams don’t scare me anymore, serene landscapes don’t enthuse…
Awful days don’t drain me anymore, blissful holidays don’t exhilarate…
Common pals grumble at me, while the best ones empathize…
[What the heck] Even a Budweiser doesn’t taste good without you……

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Was that good?

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The used scented candles, told me a tale of lust….
Wine glasses said they were envious for not being human..
Sleep said it wasn’t called for …
Television said it was a remote away….
Messed up linen said it was passion, my own limbs said it was compassion….
Scattered clothes said about the freedom, Shimmering sunlight asked “Was that good”?
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Waking up

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In a dream, it was some nameless day in a numberless year, you were sleeping. Draped in satin sheets, cushioned with pillows, your mobile was cozying to the right side of your pillow. I wake it up by calling, it in turn does the same to you. I am miles away from your pillows… They see my number and shy away…
“Hi” said I.
[A second of silence] “It’s the rain!”
We both listened. Amidst unknown miles across landscapes, of dry sun and dripping rain… waking up was never so good….
[Methinks] Going back to sleep listening to your loved ones too wasn’t less either ……
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Me Too

She said “Me Too….”
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My eyes closed…. I was transformed into a new world…
The clouds were playing… They were sprinkling flowers, on us.
I saw, infinite plush ocean blues, the tides, waving and saying “hi”
I wish the beach was not this long, I wish her arms were longer.
I wish the dream was longer, I wish I had another day.
She said “Maybe I'll hold your hand when we cross the beach today”.
So we better go out. I wish this dream was shorter now.
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Love......

Tell me you love me, I insist….
[methinks] It was supremacy at its haste best.
She overlooks…..

Tell me you love me, I moan……
[methinks] It was a bit more respectable.
She answers.

Tell me you love me, I plead………...
[methinks] It was like don't make me beg you again.
She obliges… says “Me too”…..

{because she wants it to be done with.}

{I believe in it because I want to.}

Wed, May 28

Till I see you grin at the dusk, I am not blissful…
Am not certain, how to go by, today, all by myself….
I know this is just one more day, I pass it vaguely at will….
Because I know you aren’t doing the same, you have much at disposal.
Yet again I recline myself, doing no good…..
You know I'm a connoisseur of pretention……..

May 26,2008

2day, this starts as a time passing/killing exercise. Lets see where it takes me. I hear quite a lot about blogging now-a-days. Partly bcoz the Big B-town guys have taken up to this new frenzied act of button publishing... Some may have righteous thoughts to express through their blogs, some may use it for marketing or making some money/hatred comments... or just about anything they wanna do through blogging..
But, being me not having anything as such, I simply write.. anything to everything what i feel like... I am not sure, if anyone will ever read this, but if you are that unlucky soul, please drop me a comment.. (Even just a numeric number like "1" also will do..) as they all say naa "U work for someone/thing(s), write for someone/thing(s), live for someone/thing(s) and die for someone/thing(s).
If blogs are meant to be read, let them be that way, what's the harm in disturbing the whole very purpose of blogging?
I love the movie aviator, which starred Leonardo Dicaprio... There is a dialogue in the movie which goes like:
Mama : Son, what do u wanna become when u grow up ??
Kid : "When i grow up, I shall make the biggest of the movies ever made, I shall build the fastest of the planes ever flied"
Sameway, u ask me I wanna say "I shall be content, the day I have an Oscar and a Booker's"

Cheers , D